Judging success and situations of other people !

Iceberg theory of success states that people can see the outcome of person’s action and accomplishments, whereas the efforts that were necessary to achieve such outcome remain hidden and unnoticed.

I love this theory! When I saw this image first time on social media instantly one childhood memory surfaced in my mind.

Year 2000, last year of my school, last annual day function and my name was being announced…’best sportsman/woman award goes to miss Charuta Bhalerao…’. I was being invited on stage for felicitation. While I was getting up from my seat with a broad smile on my face I overheard gossip among my classmates. “She only gets it every year, nothing new, why to clap, there is no need for our school to put her on pedestal….”

I am writing about this incident first time, almost more than a decade later yet I remember this incident vividly. How their words, body language, facial expressions and tone made me feel hurt, angry and helpless at the same time.

I went ahead and received trophy with gratitude. My school was extremely supportive and appreciative of my swimming career.

Holding trophy in my hand, I lost in my own world “why people don’t understand what it takes to be a swimmer? When other kids are enjoying their vacations and travelling to their native places, it is time for us (swimmers) to practice twice or thrice a day. In routine days we do not even get much time to play, we just go to school, swim, eat and sleep, whatever little time is left we somehow manage our studies. We endure so much pain with patience, physical as well as mental. Imagine investing daily 3-4 hours in grueling swim workouts, practicing persistently for months or years to drop a second of your timing and in completion missing your medal or place just by fraction of second, coming out of the pool as a looser, not qualifying for state or national level, everything goes down the drain within a moment! Dealing with such failures in public is certainly not an easy task yet we stand up again, show up for practice, put same level of efforts and wait for next year to get a chance! Undeniably Charuta, you are far better than these people who are just sitting and commenting. Come on cheer up”

I quickly wiped off my tears and decided to care damn about what others are saying. I realized people may never understand what efforts you have taken, they will cook and spread their version of story describing - why you are successful.

Competitive swimming not only just helped me to have ‘success mindset’ but the right mindset towards success - of my own and that of others.

Forget about achievement or success, I never go into the zone of ‘oh they could do it because they have xyz and I don’t have ….blah blah blah’ and by any chance if I slip into that zone my mind plays devil’s advocate…’oh come on charuta you know that’s not true, they are making those choices and taking efforts that’s why they are able to do that…are you willing to adopt that mindset and take practical step…NO right ? then just shut up’

Sincere request to all of you to shut such voices “oh she can have a good career because she is not married or does not have children, oh he is able to stay fit because he has lot of free time and can go to gym regularly, oh they can travel because they don’t have responsibility, oh they have lot of money and supporting family so they can take risks….but my situation is different, I don’t have time, I don’t have money, I have responsibilities, I have family….so on and on”

Remember we all have option to choose. Not choosing something is also a choice. Respect choices of other people and understand what it takes to be or achieve or do what others are being or achieving or doing.