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Success and sacrifices - attitude towards Indian women

When unmarried women are observed having fun and achieving success, in opinion of other married women...it is because they do not have responsibilities and in laws to deal with...they are free birds !
"Had I not been married even I would have done that ! She will realize how life is tough once she gets married"

When married women enjoys her freedom and achieve success in her field, then in the opinion of married women with kids its all because she still doesn't have kids...she is still a free bird...!
"Had I been in this situation even I would have done that"

And when women with kids achieves success and do something which no one has done earlier ... She gets to hear comments like "its all because of supportive in laws and husband and obedient kids"....

Why can't most women appreciate each other with full heart ??? Why they always compare their lives with others and feel envious...??? Every woman has her own unique path...unique set of challenges and obstacles to deal with...lot of sacrifices happens behind the scene. Her success is result of her decision to take up her aims as priority and persistent hardwork to achieve it!

It is disheartening to see people blame others or situations for their failures and labelling 'supportive environment' as reason for those who achieve success.

Let's just understand that whatever we achieve or do in our life or situations in which we land up is the result of our choices. We always choose what we prioritize in life. Let's just respect each others' decisions and priorities !!!

Life is all about managing and balancing priorities. Woman who reached top level at corporates or got promotion at work must have worked hard towards it. Making that aim priority of their life at certain point of time in spite of having other challenges to deal with.

For all women who are quick to pass comments and form judgements about people and situations....

While you left office on time to enjoy with your husband, your colleague carrying a pain of 'still single at 30' and health of patents ...did work hard for promotion. She chose to sit late at office because it was her priority. She chose her aim over spending time with friends and enjoying spinsters' life. Here she has taken risk of further delaying the process of marriage or abandoned by friends for certain period of time. It is very easy to say she is free bird and has no responsibilities !

While you were busy in enjoying and playing with your kids, another colleague of yours who do not have child at the age of 35 did chose to work towards her goal of getting promotion. She worked hard keeping aside her pain of physical and emotional trauma arising out of fertility treatments, secretly shedding tears...it is very easy to say she could do that because she doesn't have kids, she is still a free bird !

While you and your kids staying in nuclear family, enjoying your space and privacy, other colleague of yours' dealing challenges at home patiently...most of the time sacrificing to adjust with in laws and dealing tantrums kids patiently and tactfully...feeling pain of having too many demands and expectations from her...decides not to compromise just her one dream for anyone...i.e. Getting promotion. She is taking risk of being blamed by everyone around her if she fails...she is taking risk of emotional and physical exhaustion. It is very easy to say that she could achieve because her in laws are supportive and kids are obedient. No one gives credit to her willpower and incredible flexibility of her nature and patience.

Pls understand that all decisions has equally good and bad consequences. There is a trade off to be done.

Trade offs faced by every woman

When should i get married or just stay single? Or postpone the marriage
Should i plan for child now or later or simply decide not to have child
Whether to spend so much money on domestic help or not
Should i cook meals for family or get it done by maid
Should i go against your in laws or keep suppressing your wishes
Whether to have second child or not...if yes when ?
Is it okay to keep children at day care center or creche or should they be with grandparent...
Should I take kids' homework or send them to tuitions ?
Should I change my career or job and spend extra time at work or not?
.....and so on and on

Women who deals with these trade offs efficiently ultimately becomes successful.

Success that we see is just tip of iceberg...we conveniently ignore their pain and fail to give due credit to their hard work. 

Let's be compassionate towards each others and think twice before you pass any comment or form judgement about other people. Most of the time you are just not aware of what these people are going through and if they reveal their struggle and issues I am sure you will thank god for not giving such problems in your life !

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